Overcoming the Achievement Trap: The Self Worth link between Success and Mental Health

Work, Self- Worth and Mental Health

Our workplace is where we spend much of our time, where we get our income and often where we make new friends. Having a fulfilling job can be good for your mental health and general wellbeing. It is not surprising that a lot of us have tied our sense of self worth, and identity to our work. In today’s fast-paced world, the pressure to achieve can often feel overwhelming. Society tends to place high value on achievement as a marker of one’s worth and we adopt this belief as our own. But how much should our achievements define our self-worth? And what role does anxiety play in this equation? Let’s dive into the intricate relationship between achievement, self-worth, and anxiety.

The paradox is that the recipe for a passionate employee AND for one facing a burnout is the same. A person whose self-worth is so closely linked to work, is someone who goes above and beyond to achieve success at work because their own value for themself is dependent on it. A fulfilling career for such a person can enhance self-esteem, giving individuals a sense of accomplishment and value. However, any setbacks, like failure or job loss, can severely affect self-worth putting them at a high risk for either anxiety due to the pressure to perform at work or depression for facing the consequences of not performing due to the same.

The World Health Organization (WHO) estimates that India has one of the highest rates of depression in the world, with about 56 million people suffering from depression and 38 million from anxiety disorders.

The Achievement Trap

As children we are often rewarded with praise, gifts, stars and medals on achievements.

This achievement- reward gradually comes to define our self-worth. It makes us believe that “I am worthy only if I achieve something”. This translates into adult life as either of the following two:

1.      Achievement based on material wants and desires: Our so called “needs” of wanting the latest iPhone, a fancy car, a luxurious home and our belief that if and when we own these, we are in the race, achieving and worthy. Our “needs” also update with developments.

2.    Achievement based on success at work: Our sense of worth and value depending on our position at work, remuneration, rewards, recognition and promotions. It gets equated with the value set upon you by your firm.

Both these give EXTERNAL sources a power to define our worth, our value when it is supposed to in fact be an intrinsic value we place upon ourselves.

We chase better job postings, higher pay, greater lifestyle. In this rush we feel these “rewards” mean we are winning at life. A trap of accomplishments, leaving us to keep wanting to “achieve” to feel like we are valuable, making us confident and motivated sure, but to only achieve more? When we base our sense of identity and value solely on what we accomplish, we set ourselves up for is a cycle of anxiety and self-doubt. If success defines who we are, failure can feel like a personal attack on our worth. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and anxiety, especially when the outcomes don't align with our high expectations.

Achievement can be a powerful motivator, no doubt.  The feeling of accomplishment often brings a rush of satisfaction. The problem however arises when our self-worth (an intrinsic sense of worth) becomes too closely linked with external achievements and feedback because it puts us in a perfectionism catch.

According to a 2019 report by Mind Share Partners, 62% of Indian professionals struggle with perfectionism in their careers, feeling that they need to be flawless to maintain self-worth.

This mindset often leads to increased anxiety, stress, and fear of failure, particularly among high achievers in competitive industries. For individuals who equate achievement with self-worth, anxiety tends to escalate. The pressure to constantly perform or achieve can feel relentless, and even minor setbacks can trigger a heightened sense of failure or inadequacy. This performance anxiety can erode mental health over time, creating a vicious cycle where fear of failure leads to stress, which further affects one's ability to achieve.

The Paralysis:

This vicious cycle of Achievement, validation of our worth leave us paralyzed. We seem to have adopted a belief system that nothing is going to change, to survive we must keep going, no matter the cost to our physical, mental health, loss of work-life balance, diminished value of our personal values and growth. As we are hustling, it feels like our life is passing us by, and we are stuck in state of paralyzed productivity.

According to a 2021 LinkedIn Workforce Confidence Index, 55% of Indian professionals reported feeling stressed at work. The primary stressors were balancing work and personal life (34%), insufficient income (32%), and slow career growth (25%)​

The Questions

Ask yourself these questions:

• Do I feel guilty about the amount of work piling up if and when I am on leave?

• Does my happiness last longer than a few days of buying a new car, phone or home? Does it last after coming back from the vacation or do I long for/ plan the next one? How much do I dread coming back to my routine?

• Do I feel my life to be meaningful or am I only surviving the rut?

• Do I feel like I have personally or professionally grown in my job?

and most importantly

• If I remove my job, qualifications, accomplishments, position and material objects from the equation, how worthy or valuable do I consider myself to be?

The answer is irrespective of your work and achievements, your value is intrinsic and YOU, by yourself, without your qualifications and accomplishments are still enough. You are enough.

Untangling the chords of Self- worth, Achievement and Mental Health

So how can we untangle the relationship between achievement, self-worth, and anxiety? The answer lies in reframing how we view both success and failure:

1. Separate Self-Worth from Achievement: Your value as a person is not determined by what you accomplish. Achievements can be rewarding, but they are just one aspect of your identity. Cultivate self-worth based on intrinsic qualities, like kindness, creativity, resilience, and integrity.

2. Redefine Success: Broaden the definition of achievement to include personal happiness, larger purpose, mental health and meaningful relationships.

3. Balance work and life: prioritize rest and personal life, set healthy boundaries at work which will come from understanding that productivity does not in entirety determine your worth.

4. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself in the face of failures or unmet expectations. Practicing self-compassion allows you to acknowledge your imperfections without letting them define you. This can alleviate anxiety and help you move forward with confidence.

5. Embrace a Growth Mindset: Instead of viewing success and failure in binary terms, adopt a growth mindset. This means seeing failures or setbacks as opportunities for learning and growth, rather than reflections of your self-worth. Every challenge is a chance to improve and develop.

6. Mindfulness: Achieving success should not come at the cost of your mental well-being. Incorporating mindfulness practices, like meditation and deep breathing, can help reduce anxiety and create balance. When you feel grounded, you’re less likely to tie your self-worth to external achievements.

 Although we should and are demanding systemic and cultural changes at work, how many of us are ready for this change? Are we ourselves ready to set boundaries at work? Are we ready to redefine success at least for ourselves? Systemic change starts with each and every individual, not only suggesting one for the system but happens when every individual takes steps towards embracing change. Are you ready?